you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
