just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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