Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
