WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
