Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize