I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
