That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Randomize
