White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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