if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I AM VODKA MAN
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
