Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
