her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We left the knife in your bed.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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