hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
