i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
