i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
