wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Green mimosas i think yes
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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