I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize