Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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