That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize