so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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