Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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