That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
