The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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