we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
