THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
