Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
