he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
