i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
