normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
