Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
