Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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