Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
