Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize