Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Two words: blizzard sex
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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