Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize