STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i now understand why vodka
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
