I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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