God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize