In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
