I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize