Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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