I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
