McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
