When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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