If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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