it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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