The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
