When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
