sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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