exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
