Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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