He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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