no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
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