Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize