I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
