So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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