lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
